Xander's Burnt Bitter Beanwater
He doesn't know why you'd want to drink, but is happy to sell it to you anyway.
Greetings.
I am Arule Eliano Alexander “Xander” II, 83rd Prince of the High Command of Helesanke, Guardian of the Holy Bozanthium Bracelets, Heir to the Well of Perpetual Amethyst. Congratulations.
Available immediately: Xander’s — ground beans for the finest burnt bitter bean water you’ve ever had! Xander’s is crafted with the same dedication I once applied to my royal aspirations, minus the ceremonial socks and constant scheming. I promise exquisite, acetous flavor in every cup you brew! So brew it. Consume it. Announce to your colleagues, friends, lovers and acquaintances that you are fueled by it. While I’d never touch the stuff I do admire your human, irrational, unrelenting desire for it. It controls you. You are irritable in the morning without it. You must have it. And if you must, then it must be Xander’s!
You are loyal to your rituals, and I respect that. So take this bag, make your beanwater, and carry on with whatever heroic tasks your species performs before noon. Should it bring you joy, clarity, or merely stave off the morning growls, remember only this: a prince made it for you, even if he refuses to taste it.
Love, Xander
The High Lakes blend is a light roast from South and Central America that is perfect as a daily staple thanks to its light body. Each cup comes with dried fruit and citrus flavors with hints of milk chocolate and almonds. Perfect for pour-over, Aeropress, Espresso, or a delightful cold brew. Available in 12oz packs of whole bean and ground options. Roasted in the US from globally sourced ingredients.
.: Size: 12oz (340g)
.: Light roast
.: Tasting notes of dried fruit, citrus, light body
.: Hints of milk chocolate, dried fruits, and almonds
.: Growing region: Central America
.: Whole bean or ground options available
.: Roasted in the USA
.: Small batch roasted by experts for superior quality, consistency and freshness
.: Graded and certified as "Specialty Grade Craft Coffee" according to the Specialty Coffee Association’s (SCA) guidelines