PMA 10th Anniversary T-shirt

This commemorative tee celebrates the Promenade Merchant’s Association’s 10th Anniversary, a designation certified by our Legal Interpretations Subcommittee as close enough. Each shirt is woven from 100% cotton imported through entirely legitimate channels, bearing only a statistically insignificant chance of having passed through a wormhole or customs inspection.

Pre-shrunk fabric keeps your size stable across most known dimensions. Side-seamed construction offers the kind of structural integrity normally reserved for hull plating. Fit is calibrated by proprietary COSMIC approved garment-optimization subroutines and is therefore, by our own estimation, excellent to exceptional.

Perfect for merchants, visitors, and anyone who has ever been mildly inconvenienced by a promenade kiosk. Guaranteed to last at least ten (10) anniversaries, even if the PMA doesn’t.

THE IMPORTANT STUFF:

• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)
• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz/yd² (142 g/m²)
• Pre-shrunk fabric
• Side-seamed construction
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
• Blank product sourced from Guatemala, Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US

*All references to cotton origin, dimensional stability, wormhole adjacency, hull-plating strength, COSMIC calibration, or “excellent to exceptional” fit constitute non-binding promotional puffery under Interstation Commerce Code §14.7(b) and other relevant laws. Cotton may not be from a traditional farm; “pre-shrunk” applies only in locally observable dimensions; hull-plating comparisons are aspirational metaphors. COSMIC denies involvement in garment sizing and is not liable for anomalies, chirps, or judgments. “Guaranteed to last ten anniversaries” is a figurative expression and not evidence that the PMA can count. Terms subject to revision, revocation, or retroactive reinterpretation.